by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Water polo is not a sport you see played in The Valley and in Mississippi. It is predominantly played on the West Coast. But, that is about to change. Valley Prep is always on the cutting edge, and they’re always looking to differentiate themselves from other private schools in the state. They were the first school in The Valley to add flag football, and now they’re the first school to add water polo.

Valley Prep Athletics Director Boo Holtz said, “We had no plans to add another sport this year; this all came about by chance. I was attending an athletics conference in the Bay Area earlier this year, and I started talking to my Uber driver. It came up in conversation that he was a volunteer assistant coach for the City College of San Francisco’s men’s water polo team, and he said he’d played water polo for Pepperdine. I joked that Valley Prep should start a water polo team, and he should be the coach. I got his number, and I never thought I’d call him. I mentioned it to our headmaster, and he wanted me to look into it more. I started a dialogue with the Uber driver, and here we are now.”

That Uber driver was from Serbia, and his name is Marko Scrachanic (pronounced scratch-an-itch). I was able to catch up with Scrachanic, and he’s very excited about his water polo team. He said, “I’m just so happy to be in The Valley and Mississippi. The cost of living is so much cheaper, and I don’t have to work 3 jobs now to make it. No more silly protests. However, I will be swapping earthquakes for tornadoes, but I think I can deal with that. I’m so happy to introduce water polo to Valley Prep. I’ve started organizing a team, and the guys are excited to get going. You will have to come see us play in the fall.”

Scrachanic will have an uphill battle forming a competitive team. Valley Prep isn’t known for its athletics, and none of his players will have played water polo before. But, Scrachanic is up for the challenge. He said, “I know the first couple years are going to be tough, but I’m looking forward to working with the kids and instilling mental and physical toughness into them.”

One of his player’s dads said, “We’re glad to have Coach Scrachanic here at Valley Prep, but I’m not sure he knows what he’s getting into. These boys are so soft. I hate to say it, but I bet my son can’t tread water for 30 seconds. Most of these kids have never watched a second of water polo, and they think it’s gonna be swimming with a ball. They’re gonna be in for a rude awakening, but I wish Coach Scrachanic the best.”

Valleyans and Valley Prep fans are looking forward to watching some water polo. The SRVO wishes Coach Scrachanic and his team the best of luck, and we’ll keep you updated on the team’s season.

by I. B. Lyon

Remember the Big Mouth Billy Bass from the 1990s? The singing and dancing bass that took the nation by storm. Thousands mounted the singing fish on the wall, and they’d press the red button over and over and laugh. I can hear the catchy jingle in my head even now. “Take me to the river. Drop me in the water.” A Valley company has created a singing and dancing catfish similar to Big Mouth Billy Bass, and it is flying off the shelf.

Valleyan Joe Blucatt was cleaning out his attic recently, and he came across his old Big Mouth Billy Bass. Blucatt said, “My wife had been after me for a while to clean out the attic, so I finally got around to it one Saturday. I was taking some boxes down, and I came across the Big Mouth Billy Bass. I chuckled, because you can’t help but laugh at that thing. I immediately thought about creating a catfish similar to it. It’s been so long since the Big Mouth Billy Bass hit the market that there’s a whole generation that doesn’t know anything about it. Maybe a singing catfish could catch on and get really popular too.”

Blucatt has always been a tinkerer, and he is always in his shop working on something. He didn’t really know where to start with the singing catfish though. He turned to his son, Joe Jr., who had recently graduated from engineering school at MS State. He and Joe Jr. got to work in the evenings on a prototype. Blucatt said, “Man, we didn’t really know where to start, but we eventually started on the speaker. We got that right, and then we started on fish itself. That was tough; we worked on that for months. We finally got it how we wanted it after many long evenings in the shop.”

After their prototype was complete, they manufactured about 15 catfish, and they gave them to friends and family members. The catfish sings a bluesy jingle while dancing when the blue button is pressed. Everyone loved them. “Blucatt said, “Everybody loved our singing and dancing catfish, so we thought that we might have something. My brother, Jay Blucatt, really encouraged us to start mass producing these and selling them. He said they could be even bigger than the Big Mouth Billy Bass. Joe Jr. and I talked it over, and we decided to give it a go. So, here we are now.”

Blucatt initially started selling their Cool Crooning Catfish on Facebook, and sales took off. So, they started a website and created CCC, LLC and began selling the catfish online. They’re not in any retailers as of now. Blucatt said, “I had no idea how to do a website, so Joe, Jr. built a website for us. Sales went through the roof, and we couldn’t keep up with the demand. So, we hired 7 people to help us out. I also had to expand my shop to have more manufacturing capacity. We realize our catfish won’t be popular forever, but we’re gonna ride the wave while we can.”

The Blucatts are producing about 200 units per day, but that is still not keeping up with demand. They could outsource production to China, but Blucatt said that is not an option. The Cool Crooning Catfish will always be made in the USA. It’s great to see a local Valley business doing great and getting a ton of notoriety. Will the Cool Crooning Catfish get as big as the Big Mouth Billy Bass once was? We’ll see.

by Heeza de Seaver

During the summer, you often see enterprising kids selling lemonade. You occasionally see kids selling produce and other items on the roadside as well. Everyone loves to see kids out working and trying to make money especially this day and time. Some Strong River Bend (SRB) kids have been garnering a lot of attention for what they’re selling this summer- omelettes. It’s not just the fact they’re selling omelettes, but it’s how they’re being prepared.

July in Mississippi and The Valley is hot, and most people try to avoid the heat. But, 3 smart, hard-working kids in SRB are using the heat to make money. They’re calling themselves the Crackin Crew, and people are loving their omelettes. They’re preparing omelettes using the sun’s heat and a few metal griddles. You can see them setup close to the 31 and 81 intersection in SRB, and you’ll normally see customers’ cars lined up waiting on their omelettes.

They get started each day around 11:00 am, and they finish up around 3:00 pm on most days. It does take about 15 minutes for the omelettes to cook, because of their unique cooking process. One customer said, “The Crackin Crew has got it going on! This is my 3rd time buying an omelette from them, and they are fantastic. They are well worth the wait. Waffle House or Huddle House ain’t got nothing on them.”

They keep the ingredient list short and simple- eggs, ham, onions and peppers, and cheese. Each omelette costs $7 each no matter the ingredients you choose, and they are selling around 50 omelettes per day. So, you can do the math, and it’s not bad for a few adolescents.

One of the Crackin Crew’s moms said, “These kids were at my house when they came up with the idea of cooking omelettes using the sun and griddles, and I told them that they were crazy. I bought some eggs for them, and I let them use my griddle to begin with. I thought they were wasting their time, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised.”

One member of the Crackin Crew said, “We had an idea and thought it would be fun, but we never dreamed things would go as well as they have. We are bringing in that guap. I think I’ll be able to buy a new PS5, and get some sweet new drip and new Jordans. I’m gonna be looking dope when I go back to school.”

This is a fun story, and hopefully the Crackin Crew will be back at it next summer. Who knows? Maybe they can stay close friends and open a restaurant one day. Make sure you stop by to get an omelette before school starts back.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Baseball is a sport full of tradition and unwritten rules. Many older baseball fans don’t like the celebrations and antics in the game right now. It’s common for hitters do a big bat flip and long pause after hitting a home run. Some pitchers stare down and trash talk hitters that they’ve struck out. A lot of teams do choreographed celebrations at home plate or in the dugout after home runs. It’s just too much for a lot of baseball fans. If you watched college baseball this year, this really got out of control. So, the NCAA College Baseball Rules Committee is considering a controversial rule change for next season.

I have a source that is tied to a member of the rules committee, and the committee is considering some interesting rule changes. One possible rule change is sure to be very controversial. Evidently, there are some old school committee members from the North. The committee is considering a rule to allow “hockey style” fighting between two players on opposing teams. My source tells me that most of the committee are tired of the antics, taunting, and over-the-top celebrations that have become part of the college game. They’re hoping the new rule will help with the antics and cool things down.

The details of the “fight rule” are being finalized. The rule will allow two “hockey style” fights per game. The fight will have to be requested by a head coach, and it will have to be approved by the home plate umpire. One fighter from each team will be chosen to fight, and the players have to be in the lineup at that time. The head coaches will be allowed to pick their players that they want to fight. There will be a boxing ring size square painted on the field between home plate and the pitcher’s mound. It will be a very short boxing match of 20 seconds. Only punches will be allowed, and the fighters will have to wear MMA gloves. A player will only be able to be involved in one fight per game. And, the home plate umpire will referee the 20 second fights to make sure things don’t get out of control. The pitch clock will time the fights. The home plate umpire will pick a winner, but no advantage will be gained by the winner’s team.

I was able to talk with a few college baseball coaches about the potential new rule, and I got mixed feelings about it. One coach said, “I think this is lunacy. What is wrong with the committee? If you think things need to cool down, how is this going to help? This will be like pouring gas on a fire. I think this will only make the taunting and yapping get worse. Plus, I don’t want my best players being involved in fights and possibly getting injured. I really hope this rule doesn’t go into effect.”

Another coach I spoke with had a different view on the “fight rule.” He said, “I like the idea of this rule. I think it will add a lot of excitement to the game, and I think it will attract more fans. Fans would love to see a good fight. I’m not a fan of the antics in the game now, and I think this new rule could help get some of it out of the game. If you get your butt beat, you’ll probably shut your mouth. Plus, wouldn’t it be so cool to see a player’s fight record along with his hitting or pitching stats? I think that would be awesome! I know this rule will be controversial, but I’m for it.”

Some details of the “fight rule” have to be worked out, but it looks like it has enough votes on the committee right now. But, that could change as more people find out about the possible rule change. Many people think this will be bad for youth baseball and possibly encourage fighting. That is a valid concern. It will be interesting to see if the rule actually into goes into effect. The SRVO will keep you updated on any new developments on the “fight rule.”

by Ben BeEssen

The Valley City July 4th Celebration is always a big event, and this year was no different. Many attendees said this year’s crowd was larger than any of the previous years’ crowds. It doesn’t get much better than a July 4th celebration in small town America. There were many events including a catfish filet eating contest, sweet tea chugging contest, and more. The night was capped off by a fireworks show.

A lot of people were looking forward to the cousin reveal station again this year, but the event organizers didn’t bring them back. They felt it was too controversial and too “redneckish” for the event. They added a watermelon seed spitting contest though (a much less redneckish event), and it was a popular event. They had 9 contestants, and it came down to two ladies- Sue Spitphire and Hazel Hottaire. Spitphire ran out gas in the end, and Hottaire ending up narrowly winning the contest. Hottaire was awarded 3 watermelons for winning the event (a $60 value).

The catfish filet eating contest was a big draw. 12 contestants competed in the contest, and they had 10 minutes to eat as many filets as they could. Bro. Jake “The Snake” Flair prayed beforehand that there would be no bones in the filets. Johnny Blue, the winner last year, was upset by Billy Flathead. Flathead slowly and calmly ate 40 filets. He put hot sauce on his filet, and his slow pace and patience paid off in the end.

The sweet tea chugging contest had some controversy. Contestants had one minute to chug as many 12 ounce cups of sweet tea as they could. Initially, Sonny Lipton was crowned the winner. But, last year’s winner, Milo “Red” Diamond and his wife complained to the judges that Lipton didn’t actually drink all his tea. After a video review, Diamond was crowned the winner. Lipton only drank about 80% of each glass of tea; a lot of tea ran down his chin and neck and onto his shirt. Lipton and Diamond’s wives had words, and the two ladies had to be separated.

The Dirtdobbers started their patriotic themed show around 8:00. They performed many patriotic songs including “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless the USA.” This is always a moving show. You had hundreds of people singing along and waiving American flags.

To cap the night off, there was a fireworks show at 9:00. Many people complained about the drone show last year, so the event organizers decided to bring back the fireworks show this year.

This year’s event was fantastic. It’s always nice to see the community come together to celebrate our great country. The good ole USA isn’t perfect, but she is pretty awesome. We have so much to be thankful for, and we hope that God will continue to bless our great country.

by Ima Phibber

Back in my day, tv commercials were clever and funny. But, that has changed. Now, many tv commercials are not funny, and they’ve become inappropriate for kids. You commonly hear cursing in tv commercials. Sex sells, so you see many sexually suggestive and risque commercials. You also see some commercials promoting homosexuality, transgenderism, and promiscuity. All this is hard to swallow for parents trying to raise their kids to be good God-fearing normies.

Valley tech entrepreneur, Mark Bezos, has decided to do something about it. The SRVO recently wrote a story about his new AI marriage program called Bliss. Bezos said, “In normal conversations over the past year or so, I’ve heard a lot of parents complaining about how inappropriate tv commercials are these days for their kids. I haven’t really thought about it; all my kids are grown now except Mark Jr. who is 18 months old. I started paying more attention to commercials, and those parents are right. Some commercials are awful these days, so I decided to help these parents out.”

The app is called AdCloak. The basic version allows parents to choose categories of commercials that they’d like to screen; categories include cursing, sexually suggestive, and more. The premium version allows users to also screen commercials from specific companies/organizations. The basic version is $1.99 per month, and the premium version is $3.99 per month. Bezos has negotiated agreements with all the major streaming services including YouTubeTV and SlingTV, and he has also negotiated an agreement with Roku. Bezos said, “It was a long process negotiating with these companies, but I managed to get it done. There’s still some work to do, and we plan to improve AdCloak going forward.”

Parents are very pleased so far with AdCloak. One mom said, “Yay! Now, I don’t have to constantly be on guard while we’re watching tv. In the past, I had to have the remote ready to change the channel every time a commercial came on, but AdCloak has taken care of that. I’ll gladly pay $1.99 per month for it.” One dad said, “We started out with the basic version, but we recently upgraded to premium. I can now screen out all the pharmaceutical company ads! No more Progressive and Liberty Mutual ads too. Sorry Flo and stupid emu! I love AdCloak! I wish we’d had it sooner.”

Viewers see a blank screen with music when an ad is blocked, but most viewers don’t have an issue with that. Many users say their kids get annoyed by it. One mom said, “My 4 year old twins don’t like the blank screen, but it’s better than them learning to cuss or singing pharmaceutical drug ad jingles.”

AdCloak has seen huge growth, and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. It will be interesting to see what new features it adds in the future.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Pickleball mania has taken over these days. Valleyans have had to travel outside The Valley to play until recently. Strong River Bend has 2 tennis courts at the city park that have not gotten much use in years. Multiple people petitioned the city to convert those tennis courts to pickleball courts, and that project was completed about 5 weeks ago. Pickleball players have been using the courts daily since the conversion.

It’s great that the courts are being used, and it’s great that more people are visiting the park. But, a problem has emerged between the senior citizen players and the teenage players. Most of the senior citizen players have been playing early in the morning to avoid the heat, and teens have been playing later in the evenings. Recently, some of the senior citizen players have started playing in the evenings, and that has taken up a lot of court time for the teens.

There have been reports of some yapping back and forth between the two groups recently, but things got heated this Tuesday night. Police were called after an altercation between an older man and teenage boy. Witnesses said the two were began arguing over the older gentlemen and his playing partner not leaving the court in a timely manner. It soon got heated, and the two were face to face yelling at each other. Luckily, the situation was diffused and no one was arrested.

A senior citizen male witness said, “These young punks have to learn to be patient. They don’t own the place. Us old folks have been paying taxes here for decades, and we should have first dibs on the courts. Kids these days don’t respect their elders. If these youngsters don’t like it, get over it. Plus, all they wanna do is clown around and do videos for social media. We could settle this by playing a match, mano a mano, but they don’t want none.”

A teen witness added, “Look, these old guys should play in the mornings. They get up at like 5:00 am anyway. Us teenagers should get to play in the evenings. The old guy started it by running his mouth; we were ready to play, but we didn’t say anything. Those guys are mean and ruthless. It’s just ridiculous that they think they can play all the time, and they think they don’t have to share the courts.”

Because of the incident, Strong River Bend is now requiring players to reserve court times by the hour. Also, the police will have be patrolling the park more often in the evenings to deter any future incidents. It’s unfortunate the two contingents can’t get along, but hopefully things can get worked out soon.

by Heeza de Seaver

Kids loving going to summer camp. Whether it’s church camp, baseball camp, or Camp Ayntnocissy, kids look forward to them each summer. Valley farmer, John Farmer, has created a unique camp on his farm this summer. Most summer camps are about fun and games, but Farmer’s camp is different. His camp is about teaching kids how to work, and parents are sending their kids in droves.

Families are super busy these days- school, sports, church, vacation, etc. This causes problems with many kids, because their parents don’t have time to teach them how to work and how to do basic stuff around the house. So, a lot of kids these days don’t have a good work ethic, and they’re as soft as tissue paper. Farmer’s summer camp is designed to help parents solve these problems for their kids.

Farmer said, “I thought about this summer work camp a few years ago, but I didn’t do anything about it. But, I had trouble finding help last year on the farm, and I didn’t get some stuff done because of it. My wife told me to start that summer camp so I could get some extra help on the farm, and she said that parents would probably pay you to teach them stuff. I decided to give it a go this summer, and parents are actually paying me a lot of money for them to come work on the farm. It’s free labor, and I get paid instead of having to pay them. It’s crazy.”

Farmer has a large farm with cattle, chickens, pigs, and he also has many acres of pine trees as well. His camp is one week long; parents drop their kids off on Monday and pick them up on Friday. Many kids aren’t happy when they’re dropped off, but most don’t want to leave on Friday. Farmer only has enough room for 10 kids at a time, and kids must be at least age 10. They learn a plethora of things, but the #1 aim for Farmer is to teach the kids to have a good work ethic. They have to get up at 6:00 am each morning, and they all eat breakfast together. Then, they get to work.

Farmer said, “Those first couple days are normally pretty rough for the kids, but they generally start to turn the corner on day 3. We talk about the importance of a good work ethic and a good attitude every day. I’m pretty tough on them, but they also learn how to think. On a farm, you learn how to get stuff done; you can’t always call someone to help, you just have to figure it out. Many kids struggle with that these days. I tell them Mom or Dad ain’t here to do it for you. You gotta figure it out. Normally, by day 3, they don’t want any help; they gain confidence and independence to do it themselves.”

Kids at Farmer’s camp learn how to do a plethora of things including cutting grass, feeding the animals, taking care of the animals, fixing fences, using a chainsaw, driving a vehicle, construction, cooking, and much more. Farmer’s favorite thing for the kids is hauling square bales of hay. Farmer said, “I love watching the kids handle the square bales. They absolutely hate it, but it teaches them grit and toughness. That’s what these kids need.”

You might think having these kids on the farm would hinder Farmer getting his work done, and it does at times. But, overall having the kids at camp helps him with many things that he wouldn’t get to otherwise. It also helps him with income. 10 kids per week at $300 a pop adds up over 10-11 weeks.

One parent said, “I was a little reluctant to send my son to Farmer’s camp, but I’m glad I did. He learned so much just in a week’s time, and his attitude at home is much better. Plus, he wants to go outside more instead of staying inside and playing games or watching tv. We’ll be sending him back next summer.”

One mom said, “I just didn’t know if my 11 year old son could cut it at farm camp. He’s a momma’s boy, and he lacks mental and physical toughness. Farmer is tough on the kids, and my son responded to it well. Plus, he learned a lot. He knows how to cut grass now, and he can even drive a vehicle now. He can’t wait to go back next summer.”

Farmer wants to have even more kids to his camp next summer. Parents love it, and the kids love it too. We’ll update you next summer on Farmer’s Farm Camp.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Valley City Country Club (VCCC) is normally a pretty quiet sleepy place. Things can get crazy when they have tournaments or wedding receptions, and things can heat up a bit on the weekends. Monday- Thursday is normally ho hum with the same 25-30 senior citizens playing in the mornings. Things have gotten interesting at the club recently though. A prankster, or some would say terrorist, has been lurking around the course, and the golfers are tired of him.

A young man with an air horn has been pranking golfers while they’re teeing off for a few weeks now. He generally sounds the air horn during players’ backswings, and the noise causes a bad shot. No one has been able to catch the prankster. He wears camo, and he’s always hidden behind trees or brush. After he sounds his air horn and he’s located, he runs off into the woods.

VCCC was carved out of the forest, so the club is basically surrounded by woods. This has provided cover for the prankster. Golfers have started looking for him, but you never know where he’s going to be. He can find cover on 11 or 12 of the 18 holes on the course.

The prankster, nicknamed the Backswing Bandit, has even started a Facebook page sharing videos of his pranks, and he’s already obtained over 2,500 followers. The club members were mad, but the creation of the Facebook page has made many members irate. Many members have seen videos of themselves being pranked, and they’re not happy about it.

One club member said, “This is not funny. I guess he thinks he’s Johnny Knoxville in Jackass. This punk needs to be caught, and needs to be tarred and feathered. I can’t even enjoy a nice round of golf now because I’m worried I’m going to hear that air horn on any backswing. We’re gonna catch this golf terrorist.”

Another member said, “I’m gonna be honest. I think it’s funny. He’s gotten all my buddies except me, and they were all so mad. He’ll probably get me at some point. I kind of wish I would’ve came up with the idea myself. Some of these stiff old timers need to relax a little.”

VCCC doesn’t know what they’re going to do to stop the prankster. Will they offer a reward for information? The more time that goes by it seems the prankster gets more brash and bold. The SRVO will let you know about any developments with the Backswing Bandit.

by Ima Phibber

The Strong River Valley Tourism Board (SRVTB) has been hard at work over the past couple years. The Valley is booming with activity. New businesses are being formed all the time, and tourism has grown substantially. Their tagline “Visit The Valley” has gotten a lot of play, and many Valleyans use the term to encourage people to visit. But, the SRVTB plans to really put their foot on the gas and continue the momentum. They’re launching a new advertising campaign called “You might wanna visit The Valley if…”

SRVTB spokesperson Judy Strong said, “We’re always looking for new and creative ways to attract tourists to The Valley. We have a lot to offer, and we want to continue to get the word out. Our board has been brainstorming, and a member came up with the idea of “You might wanna visit The Valley if… The idea came from Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…” shtick. We plan to highlight all the great things The Valley has to offer with this campaign. We think it’ll do well, and bring even more notoriety to The Valley.”

Great ad campaigns generally have a great pitchman/pitchwoman. People like Flo with Progressive Insurance and Billy Mays (RIP) with OxyClean come to mind. Strong said, “We had a great idea, but we needed a pitchman. Someone threw out Ricky Waters name, and everyone immediately smiled. Ricky has a successful outfitters company in Valley City that does river tubing, canoeing, and more, and he absolutely loves the Strong River and The Valley. Plus, he’s as crazy as loon, he loves to talk, and he’s handsome. So, the board thought he’d be the perfect pitchman for the campaign. We contacted him, and he said he’d love to take on the roll of pitchman.”

You Might Wanna Visit The Valley If… Intro Video

The ad campaign plans to feature Waters aka Ricky from The Valley highlighting the attractions, outdoors, restaurants, shopping, and more. The SRVTB plans to place ads in multiple channels including social media, tv, newspaper, Spotify, YouTube and more. Ads will be placed across Mississippi and the Southeast. Ricky from The Valley will highlight the great food of The Valley. Strong said, “You gotta start with our great food right? You’ll soon see Ricky bragging on our wonderful food and restaurants.”

The SRVTB has high hopes for the ad campaign. It will interesting to see if Ricky from The Valley takes off or not. Whether we like him or not, we’re about to see a lot of him.