Strong River Valley Observer

The Valley's Trusted Unreliable News Source

Valleyans Flock to Gas Station for Sushi

by Emma Embellischer

Billy’s Quik Stop is a happening spot in Valley City. Of course, people are always stopping to get gas, because they normally have the cheapest gas in town. But, everyone loves their food too. They have great biscuits in the morning, and they have great plate lunches at lunch time. Their fried chicken and pizza sticks are pretty hard to beat too. They’ve recently added a new and unlikely food item that has taken The Valley by storm- sushi.

In the past, the late afternoon and evening was the slowest time at Billy’s, but it is a happening place from 5:00- 6:00 pm now. People are stopping by in droves to pick up sushi on their way home from work. At times, it can be hard to find a parking place in the evenings now. Evidently, Valley City residents have been craving a sushi spot, and now they have one.

Billy’s Quik Stop owner Billy Beech said, “My long-time worker, Bertha Buroda, had asked me couple times about making sushi to sell. I thought she was crazy. She’s been eating it lately at the Great Wall Chinese Buffet, and she loves it. She watched some YouTube videos on how to make it, and we gave it a whirl. I’ve never eaten the stuff in my life, so I was pretty skeptical. Well, the people are loving it. Now, Bertha makes sushi just about the whole time she’s working. We sell out most days. It’s crazy!”

Bertha making sushi

Beech added, “I was kind of nervous once she started making all this sushi, because she’s my best fried chicken cook. That woman can make some great fried chicken and chicken livers. But, one of my other girls has really stepped up with the chicken. Bertha has really embraced this. She wears one of those Japanese hats and Japanese clothes. Who would’ve thought you’d see this in a gas station in Valley City?”

Bertha makes a lot of the sushi staples like California rolls, spicy tuna rolls, and Philadelphia rolls. But, she’s created a few special rolls that Valleyans love including the catfish tempura roll. She can’t make enough of the catfish tempura rolls. Many times, people have waited for 30 plus minutes just to get a catfish tempura roll. Also, she makes some great pink sauce; customers are requesting containers of it now too.

A Billy’s customer said, “We don’t drive to Jackson or Flowood anymore for sushi. We got the best sushi around just a couple minutes from the house now. Bertha is the best! That catfish tempura roll is to die for! I stop by on my way home and pick it up a couple times a week. I add a little hot sauce to that pink sauce and dip in there. Heaven can’t be much better! I’m tellin you!”

Another customer added, “My friend told me about the sushi at Billy’s, and I thought she was crazy. I told her that I ain’t eatin no sushi from a gas station. I know Billy’s has got some good food, but sushi? Really? Well, I finally tried it, and I’m hooked. We ate it last night. My kids, who don’t eat much more than mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, even like it.”

Right now, Bertha just has a small kiosk in the store, but Billy is planning to remove a cooler of two to enlarge the sushi area to meet their demand. If you haven’t tried the sushi at Billy’s, it’s time to get down there and try it out!

Local High School Coach Comes Under Fire

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Even though it’s 140 degrees, high school football is right around the corner. Coaches are finishing up their summer workout programs, and they’re getting ready to start fall practice. There’s no better time of year than football season, and it’s almost here. Strong River Bend (SRB) High football was in the news a couple weeks ago, and they’re back in the news again now.

SRB was forced to stop their summer workout program because of some unfortunate circumstances. Their administration came under a lot of fire for the decision. Most fans and parents supported their coach, Jackie Mullen, during that incident, because he wanted to continue the workout program for his kids. But, Coach Mullen is now coming under fire for a decision he’s made, and the season hasn’t even started.

Coach Mullen said, “People have just gone plum crazy. You can’t do anything these days without catching flack. We weren’t able to finish our summer workouts and conditioning, so I thought I need to track my skill guys’ fitness. So, I ordered SportsSTAT GPS trackers for them to use as they workout on their own. It gives us a ton of data on their fitness, speed, and much more, and this data will help us to optimize the team’s performance on the field. A lot of college programs and pro athletes use these things. How is this a bad thing? Well, some of our parents and fans think they’re horrible. They’re not sports bras for guys even though some of our lineman could use sports bras. I don’t know man, I just don’t know anymore.”

Coach Mullen expected his parents and fans to be happy that his program is on the cutting edge of athletic performance. No other program in The Valley is using these athletic performance devices and obtaining the data he and his program is getting. Parents and fans are ok with that aspect of the devices, but their issues are more about the appearance of the devices.

One parent said, “Why are we putting sports bras on our young men? You can call them whatever you want- GPS trackers, sports performance devices, etc. But, they’re freakin sports bras. We’re already emasculating the young men in our culture, and this is another step in that direction. Other schools’ players and fans are going to be laughing at and making so much fun of our kids. Coach Mullen, please don’t make our guys wear these sports bras!”

One anonymous player said, “We all have an app that keeps track of our data, and it’s pretty cool. I hit 18.2 mph a couple days ago at home, and there’s no way I would’ve known without the GPS tracker. But, let’s be honest, they’re basically sports bras for dudes. My girlfriend has a pic of me wearing it as the wallpaper on her phone. I can’t stand to see that pic. I will definitely wait to take my pads and undershirt off until I get in the locker room after games. I don’t want anyone seeing me wearing that thing.”

Will the GPS trackers give SRB an edge? Will other programs start using the devices as well? We shall see.

WBLT Hires New Anchor

by Ben BeEssen

WBLT does a great job reporting on the news of The Valley. They’ve won multiple awards over the years, and they continue to do quality work. They’ve been an incubator for talent as well. Many talented news anchors have started their careers at WBLT, and they’ve moved onto much larger markets. That’s a good thing, but it can also be disappointing for viewers. You like and get attached to an anchor, and then they’re off to greener pastures. WBLT has taken a different approach this time around though; they just hired a well-known proven anchor.

WBLT producer Lettus Bayken said, “We lost a popular anchor recently, and we decided not to do what we normally do. We could’ve hired another green 23 year old out of journalism school on the cheap again, but we decided to go big this time. We wanted a young, beautiful female British anchor. That accent just adds a certain flair and sophistication to the broadcast. I watched a good bit of the World Cup, and this feeling was just reinforced listening to the female British commentators. We had to get a fit Brit.”

Bayken and his team didn’t have the funds to hire a search firm, so they just got to work on their own. They ended up finding their lady in London. Bayken took his shot and reached out to Diana Thatcher via Instagram. Thatcher is a BBC anchor who anchors a weekend show. Bayken and Thatcher started a dialogue, and now she’s headed to The Valley.

Bayken said, “It was really a long shot, but I shot my shot. You just never know. She was unhappy with her current situation, and she was actually looking to move to America. I seriously doubt The Valley was on her radar, but we can’t wait for her to start. She’s going to bring flair and professionalism that WBLT has never had; she’s going to be a huge asset for us. We think our male viewership will increase dramatically as well.”

I was able to speak with Thatcher via Zoom. She said, “I’m so excited to be moving to America. I’m a football fan, and I watched a lot of the World Cup. I also saw all the football fans that visited America, and I saw how much they loved it. I thought I have to try it. I want free refills. I want unlimited chips and salsa. I want to visit Buc-ee’s. I want to eat at Waffle House. I want to drive a big truck. Honestly, I don’t know that much about The Valley, but I’m excited to experience it soon.”

Thatcher will start anchoring WBLT news next week, so tune in to see her. The details of her contract have not been released, but the rumor is that she’ll be making well into the 6 figures. She’ll allegedly will be provided free tanning, botox treatments, a personal driver, and more. Thatcher could be in for a little bit of culture shock; The Valley is a bit different than London.

Bear Spotted in The Valley

by I. B. Lyon

People are seeing bears all across Mississippi these days. The black bear population is thriving. Most bears are seen in southwest MS along the MS River, and they’re commonly seen in the coastal counties as well. But, one has made it’s way to Simpson County and The Valley, and people are going crazy over it.

A bear was spotted in Pinola yesterday. A young man fed it peanut butter, and he took multiple videos and pictures in close proximity to the bear. The post went viral on Facebook, and it had a ton of comments. A bear was also spotted in Mendenhall today. Now, the bear or possibly another bear has been spotted along the Strong River by some familiar folks- Johnny Riverrat, Willie Strong, and Billy Strong. These gentlemen have made the news a couple times previously, and now they’re back in the news.

These gentlemen love to spend time at the river fishing and drinking, and they happened to be there today when they encountered the bear. Riverrat said, “We all took the day off today to go fishing at the river. It’s been a while since we hung out down there. Billy heard something in the woods not too far from him. He looked over there, and there he was. A dang bear! He told us to look, and we couldn’t believe our eyes. We’d only drank a few beers, so we’re too far gone yet. We knew it was indeed a bear.”

According to the gentlemen, the bear came down to the river to get a drink and relax a bit. He was approximate 40 yards from them.

Riverrat added, “Willie had the bright idea of feeding him a couple bluegills. I told him that I wanted to cook those bad boys this evening for us. But, he walked closer to the bear, and he threw a couple bluegills his way. The bear slowly walked over to them, and he ate them. He took his time eating them. He was very well mannered. But, now we got catch a couple more for us.”

Riverrat also added, “Willie had the bright idea of getting a selfie with the bear, and I told him that he was crazy. That’s a dang wild animal man. But, that idiot did it, and it looked like the bear posed for him. It was crazy! I hope he’ll hang around. I’d like to see him again, but I doubt we’ll ever see him again.”

There’s debate on whether everyone is seeing the same bear. Some think there are multiple bears. Who knows? Folks, be smart out there. Don’t feed the bear, and don’t try to take a selfie with him.

Local School Cancels Summer Workouts

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

High school football teams are in the midst of summer workouts and conditioning. These workouts are critical for kids looking to get stronger and work on their conditioning for the upcoming season. Coaches depend on these workouts to make their kids stronger, more fit, and build team comradery. Generally, high school football teams that have good summer workout programs do well in the fall. But, one Valley program has stopped their summer workout program.

Strong River Bend (SRB) High has halted the football program’s summer workouts. Many of the SRB faithful were surprised to learn about the development. They have high hopes for their team this year, but this is not something you want to hear gearing up for the fall. I was able to reach SRB’s coach, Jackie Mullen, for comment. He simply said, “No comment. I don’t want to get fired.”

SRB High’s principal Dr. Dick Belding said, “It’s very unfortunate, but we felt like we had to shut the summer workout program down. We had a player’s parent file a complaint, and we did a short investigation. After the investigation, we decided to shut it down. We uncovered multiple troubling instances with the workouts including a player puking during sprints, only 3 water breaks per workout session, coaches yelling at and berating players and more.”

The players and many of their parents are not happy with the decision. It’s also caused a firestorm on social media. One dad said, “I can’t believe this crap. So, one solitary parent complains and we shut the workouts down? I guarantee you this parent didn’t play football in the 90s. We had people throwing up every day during sprints, and our coaches yelled at and cussed us constantly. You ever heard of two-a-days? We practiced two times each day in 95 degree heat. TWO TIMES! So freakin soft! This is why America is in decline.”

Another parent said, “This is so sad for our players. They are excited about the upcoming season, and now they can’t workout together. Now in America, the loud minority seems to always get what they want. We can’t let one person get upset, offended, or complain. Oh no! I know the parent that complained, and they don’t like the coach. Their son is the backup quarterback, and they think he should be starting. But, he ain’t good enough to start. This is just another example of why kids these days are so mentally and physically soft. The principal also should grow a pair, and they need to tell the parent to go pound sand. I’m so ticked! I’m going to do everything in my power to get the workouts going again. We’ll see what happens.”

I tried to get comments from multiple players, but they told me that they were not allowed to comment. There seems to be a groundswell of support to restart the workouts. Will the administration stick to their decision, or will they listen to their parents and players? It will be interesting to see what happens. But, this is not something you want to happen going into a promising season.

Smith Co. Organization Introduces Watermelon Authentication Program

by Ima Phibber

Everyone loves a Smith County watermelon. They’re well-known and revered across the state and the whole country. That’s been the case for a while, but they’ve gotten even more praise and fame in the social media era. Many celebrities have lauded over them the past few years including Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports. You simply can’t beat cutting into a good ole Smith County watermelon on a hot summer day.

The issue with Smith Co. watermelons is that they’re so liked and coveted that many sellers and peddlers claim to sell them when they’re actually selling watermelons from other areas of MS or other states. A road-side peddler can ask $2- $3 more for a Smith Co. watermelon, and some use false advertisement to sell them. This has been an issue for years, and we’ve actually chronicled this in a previous article. The Smith Co. Watermelon Growers Cooperative (SCWGC) has decided to tackle this issue head on to protect their members.

SCWGC spokesperson Rhynde Greene said, “This has been an issue for our farmers for years, and we finally decided to do something about it. Many of these jake leg swindlers and peddlers have been claiming to sell Smith Co. watermelons, and they come from out of state in many instances. Well, they can still sell our watermelons, but now customers will know if they are in fact buying a Smith Co. watermelon with our new authentication program.”

Smith County Legit (SCL) is the name of the authentication program. The SCWGC has managed to get all the major Smith County growers to join the SCL program. There will probably be some individuals or small farms that won’t participate. Greene added, “We plan to advertise to educate the public about SCL, and the hope is that people in the market for watermelons will look to buy SCL watermelons to make sure they get a legit Smith Co. watermelon. The grocery stores, produce stands, and other retailers we’ve talked with all plan to sell only SCL watermelons.”

SCL watermelons will have distinct SCL stickers affixed to them by the growers. Retailers and sellers will be encouraged to also display a SCL sign for customers to see and feel confident they’re buying a Smith Co. watermelon. Many retailers, peddlers, and sellers are happy with the SCL program, but some people are skeptical as well.

One seller said, “A program like SCL has been needed for a long time. Quite a few people question whether I’m actually selling Smith Co. melons. I buy my melons directly from a Smith Co. farmer; always have and always will. But, some of these out-of-town peddlers get melons from Louisiana, south MS, or Alabama, and lie their butts off and claim they’re from Smith Co. They just make a little sign- Smith Co. Watermelons. Hopefully, people will hear about SCL and they’ll look for the stickers.”

One peddler said, “I get a lot of people from other states heading to and from the beach on Hwy. 49 that stop and buy from me. They want a Smith Co. watermelon, but they’re not gonna know about SCL. So, I’m gonna keep buying my watermelons from south MS and Alabama. Who knows? I may get some knockoff SCL stickers made, and I can make a SCL sign too. Now, they’ve given me a reason to jack my prices up another dollar or two. Haha!”

Valley Man Disappears After Social Media Post

by I. B. Lyon

There is a bizarre missing person case in Valley City right now. Ruffel Fethers is considered a missing person as of yesterday morning. Fethers is a self-employed lawn care specialist. He’s known around The Valley for his provocative social media posts. He seems to thrive on stirring the pot and riling people up on social media. The interesting thing about Fethers’ case is that many feel he announced or foretold his disappearance.

The Valley City police think the genesis of Fethers’ disappearance is his Facebook post about Buc-ee’s. If you don’t know about Buc-ee’s, you’ve been living under a rock and definitely don’t get out much! Everyone loves Buc-ee’s including all the foreigners visiting the U.S. for the World Cup. Many foreigners visiting America for the first time have prioritized visiting Buc-ee’s, and they love it. Many have posted videos praising Buc-ee’s that have gone viral on social media. Well, Mr. Fethers had a much different view about Buc-ee’s than just about everyone in the U.S. and the world.

On Monday, Fethers posted on Facebook, “BUC-EE’S SUCKS! Yep, I said it.” Many of Fethers’ 2,300 followers immediately started commenting and blasting him. People started sharing his post, and it went mega viral. 99.73% of the comments did not agree with Fethers. They all heaped praise on the American institution of Buc-ee’s. As of writing this article, the post has over 1.7 million views.

Fethers made a post the following day, Tuesday, and it obviously had a cryptic message. Fethers posted, “Adios Amigos!” No one has had contact with Fethers since Tuesday, and no one knows his whereabouts. I reached out to his family, and they said they haven’t talked with him since Tuesday morning. He talked with his mom briefly, and they discussed his viral post. He told his mom he loved her. His mom said, “He’s obviously turned his phone off or he’s deleted Life360. I have no idea where he is. If anyone has any info, please reach out to the Valley City Police or Valley County Sheriff’s Dept.”

Fethers’ friend who wanted to remain anonymous said, “Ruffel can be pretty compulsive and spontaneous, so you never know what he may do. I think he’s probably fine. He’s probably in Mexico somewhere drinking a Corona or margarita. But, he obviously didn’t expect that much blow back from his dumb, un-American post. He obviously couldn’t take the heat, so he fled the kitchen.”

One Facebook commenter said, “This may be the largest self-inflicted wound in history. You DO NOT criticize or demean Buc-ee’s. Buc-ee’s is by far the best thing since sliced bread. I bet this guy went to a FBI office and begged to get put into the witness protection program. He’s probably already in Idaho in the wilderness right now hanging out with Epstein and Jimmy Hoffa. He can’t come back from this. No way!”

This is considered a missing person case now, and if you have any information about Fethers’ whereabouts, please contact the Valley County Sheriff’s Dept., Valley City Police, MBI, or the FBI. Fethers’ green Ford Fiesta is missing, so it’s assumed he’s driving it. His family is anxious to locate him, and his customers need their grass to be cut.

Babysitters Form Union

by Heeza de Seaver

Today, generally both mom and dad work, so many parents need a babysitter during the summer. Many parents use teenage girls to babysit their kids during the summer. Most of the time, the teenage babysitter is a relative, family friend, or fellow church member of the family needing a babysitter. Also, the babysitter is paid cash or with Venmo or Cashapp. It’s a pretty informal agreement, and it’s generally a pretty easy job for the babysitters. But, things have just gotten more complicated for some families in The Valley using babysitters.

Five teenage girls have formed the Professional Childcare Union of The Valley (PCUV) to push for higher wages and better benefits. PCUV was formed by Ariana Greadie, a 17 year old babysitter from Valley City. So far, Greadie has 4 other young ladies that have joined the union, but she plans to have many more before the end of the summer.

Greadie said, “I’ve always been an advocate for those that are oppressed and taken advantage of, and I felt it was time for us young babysitters to organize, rise up, and get what is rightfully ours. PCUV is just getting started, but we’re going to be a force pretty soon. Many people think I’m greedy and ungrateful, and they think my parents need to step in. But, I’m here to fight for the rights of young babysitters in The Valley. Hopefully, PCUV will grow beyond The Valley real soon.”

PCUV has some demands for the parents they work for. They include: minimum $20/hour pay, no more pay by the day or week, payments must be by cash, Venmo, or Cashapp, tips are strongly encouraged, wifi (withholding passwords is not allowed), free access to a pool within 2 miles of parents’ house, mandatory naps of 1 hour or longer for kids age 5 and under, no cooking, babysitting sessions of 5 hours or less must pay $25/hour. Many parents are concerned about the PCUV.

One mom said, “Our babysitter informed us a couple days ago that she had joined PCUV. She’s demanding $20/hour, access to a pool, and no more cooking. We’ve been paying her $50/day so far this summer, and she ain’t worth that. And, now you can’t cook little Ethan a grilled cheese? Really? I don’t think her parents even know she’s joined this “union.” Anyway, we’ll be looking for a non-union babysitter now.”

One dad added, “This has to be a joke right? Did this girl’s mom put her up to this? I thought we messed up when hired our babysitter, and I know we messed up now. She had blue hair and Kamala and Bernie Sanders bumper stickers, and now she told us she’s joining the PCUV. She’s got a bunch of insane demands. I informed her yesterday that it was her last day. I don’t know what we’re gonna do. All the daycares I’ve called are full. I guess Bella Grace may have to stay home by herself until we find someone. I know she’s only 8, but you gotta do what you gotta do.”

It will be interesting to see if the PCUV continues to grow this summer. It appears families are not too pleased with them. But, will they a choice but to deal with the PCUV?

Valley Tech to Offer Social Media Influencer Course

by Emma Embellischer

Everyone is on social media these days. We all spend way too much time scrolling through social media wasting our lives away. But, many people are making money on social media. These so-called influencers are all over social media, and more and more people are wanting to learn how to monetize their social media profiles. The Valley Technology Institute (Valley Tech) has decided to offer a 3 week course this summer to help these folks out.

For a small community college, Valley Tech is on the cutting edge. We’ve written about an innovative course they’ve offered before. Valley Tech’s President Dr. Mark Boyce said, “We’re here to help our community, and we always try to listen to the community. We’ve gotten multiple requests to form a social media class. We’ve never offered anything like that, but I said if we got 10 people to sign up that we’d do it. Well, we got 14 people to sign up, so we’re going to offer the class- Social Media Influencer 101. The class will begin on June 15th, and it will last for 3 weeks.”

The course will cover the items below.

Week 1: Defining Your Niche, Platform Selection, Profile Optimization

Week 2: Production Basics, Editing & Aesthetics, Anatomy of a Viral Hook, Building a Content Calendar

Week 3: Algorithm Optimization, Audience Engagement, Brand Pitching, Ethics

The course will be taught by psychology instructor Benji Rush, and it will cost $150. Rush said, “I’m excited to teach this course. My cat, Obi-Wan, and I have managed to get a following on social media, and it’ll be fun to pass on the knowledge that I’ve gained on my social media journey. One thing I’ll say now is that it really helps to incorporate animals, because I’m not really that interesting. But, people love Obi-Wan and his crazy antics.”

I was able to talk with a couple of the students that signed up for the course. Mary Sue Stewart, a 68 year old grandmother said, “I can’t wait to take this course. My husband said it was retarded, but he thinks just about everything these days is retarded. I’ve told my kids and grandkids about it, and they think I’ve lost my mind. But, I think I’m a good cook, and I think I’m funny. So, why shouldn’t I be able to build a social media following? I’m gonna give it a go and see what happens.”

A young lady said, “I’m really hoping this course will help me. I’ve been trying hard to build a brand and following on social media, but it’s so hard. I only have 111 followers on my Instagram page, and I only have 126 followers on Tiktok. Do I need to cut my hair? Is it my voice? Do I need to edit by videos better? Do I need to do a BlueSky or Threads profile? I’m hoping to find the answers to these questions. I’d really like to quit my job and be a full-time influencer. We’ll see what happens.”

A young man in the corporate world said, “I’m gonna give this course a try. I’ve been an assistant manager for 3 years now, and I really want to move up the corporate ladder. I think LinkedIn could really help with that. So, I’m looking to optimize my LinkedIn profile, and hopefully find new opportunities.”

Dr. Boyce said that they may offer the course a second time in July if the demand is there. Call 1-800-530-7665 or email Mr. Rush ([email protected]) for more info.

Valley County Baptist Association Announces New Contest

by Ima Phibber

Summer is here, and that means Vacation Bible School (VBS) season is here as well. Many parents send their kids to multiple VBS sessions at different churches. Valley County Baptist Association (VCBA) has decided to create an award or contest for kids that attend VBS at multiple churches in Valley County. They have named it the VBS Quest Award.

VCBA Missions Director Chuck Spurgeon said, “VBS is one the most important things us Southern Baptists do. Thousands of believers have been saved over the years through VBS. We wanted to encourage the kids and parents in Valley County to attend as many VBS sessions as possible this summer, so that’s why we created the VBS Quest Award. We hope to hear multiple stories of kids coming to Jesus with this award being the catalyst for those conversion stories.”

The VBS Quest Award will be awarded to a child or children (K4- 6th grade) that attend the most days of VBS this summer. They have to attend VBS at least 8 different churches to be eligible. As of now, there are 23 churches in the VCBA that are having VBS this summer, so visiting 8 shouldn’t be that difficult. If there is a tie, the award will be given to multiple kids. VCBA will use the honor system to tally the total days and churches visited. VCBA will have an awards ceremony at their August meeting to recognize the winners with a nice dinner, trophies, and social media fame. Valley County residents have mixed feelings about the award.

One mom said, “My son wants to try to win this award, but it’s going to be impossible. There’s like 15 churches in the county that are having VBS this week and next week. All the churches want to front run it and get it over in early June now. My husband and I have to work, so we can’t drive him around. Plus, my 16 year old babysitter is a horrible driver, and I don’t really trust her to drive Timmy around the county. Maybe we can use Husl to get him around, but that’ll cost an arm and a leg. I don’t know. We’ll see.”

Another mom added, “My daughter is dead set that she’s going to win this award. But, I worry about people cheating to win it. Some parents will probably drive their kid around and hit like 10 churches in one day. They’ll probably just show up for rec, Kool-Aid and cookies, and then leave for the next church. You know there’s no way some of the busy baseball and softball kids can do this, but they like to win at all costs. I’m just worried that people are going to cheat, and my poor baby will get cheated out of the award.”

It will be interesting to see how the VBS season plays out. We’ll be at the August VCBA meeting to cover the awards ceremony. Have a great summer and VBS season.