by I. B. Lyon

Valley City residents are fed up with Canadian geese. It seems like their population in The Valley continues to grow year after year. Many Valleyans feel the birds have become a nuisance. The issue was brought up at the this month’s Valley City city board meeting on Tuesday.

Valley City resident Mark Trudeau contacted City Hall to get the geese issue put on the agenda. He contacted some other residents to be present at the meeting, and there were about 7 people there to voice their concerns about the geese. Trudeau said, “I’ve been living in Six Oaks since it was built about 3 years ago, and I love living there. But, the Canadian geese have gotten out of control; they’ve almost taken over the neighborhood. Something has to be done to get rid of them.”

Trudeau added, “Those stupid things are pooping everywhere- all over my yard, on the sidewalk, on the street, and everyfreakinwhere. Now, a couple of them have babies, and they’re very protective. My little yorkie, Coco, can’t even go outside to pee and poop, because she’s so scared of the geese. A momma goose got after her the other day, and she’s now terrified to go outside. We gotta do something.”

At first, the board of aldermen didn’t seemed too interested in the matter. However, it changed when Bubba Ledbetter said he was going to take matters into his own hands if the city didn’t act. Ledbetter said, “If y’all don’t do anything, I’m gonna take care of these dang birds. I got a few options to take care of them- my bow, my 12 guage, and my Rottweiler Bruno. Y’all better do something.”

After hearing from Trudeau, Ledbetter, and a few others, the board agreed they needed to address the matter. After some discussion, the board and mayor agreed to pass a resolution to deport the geese back to Canada.

Valley City Mayor Ronald Bush said, “I don’t know how we’re gonna deport all these geese. I guess I’ll give ICE a call to see what they can do. If they can’t help us, I guess I’ll have to get my animal control guys to round them up. They’d probably like to take a road trip to Canada. We’ll see what happens.”

You rarely see everyone agree on an issue, but it looks like just about everyone in Valley City is happy with the board’s decision. I talked with quite a few people at City Hall after the decision, and I perused social media. Everyone was happy with the decision to deport the geese.

One man said, “Gosh, I’m so glad they’re doing this. They’ve taken over the county club. They crap everywhere, even on the greens. This past weekend, I smoked one with a drive. I think I killed it, but I’m not sure. On the next hole, a mother goose got after me because I guess I got too close to her babies. That was probably karma. They’re out of control though.”

One lady said, “Yay! It’s about time they did something about those things. It seems like every freakin morning I have to wait on those things crossing the street in my neighborhood. I swear it’s everyday. Now, they have babies, so it takes even longer for them to cross the road. They’ve caused me to be late for work multiple times.”

A gentleman added, “Why are these things here now? Aren’t they supposed to go back home to Canada in the warmer months? I think they’ve gotten lazy and entitled. It may be climate change. Who knows? We’ve put them on government benefits, and now we can’t get rid of them. But, ICE is gonna take care of them! Deport them all!”

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

It seems like there is a kerfuffle at a baseball or softball tournament every weekend these days. Most of the time they’re between a coach and an umpire, but sometimes they’re between a parent and an umpire. Unfortunately, some of these kerfuffles have resulted in assaults and arrests. Because of these crazy coaches and parents, many umpires have become fearful for their safety. A local jiu jitsu gym has come to the rescue.

Valley Jiu Jitsu Academy will offer free jiu jitsu lessons for baseball and softball umpires. I was able to catch up with the gym’s owner and Professor, Gordon Gracie. Gracie said, “My son plays travel ball, and we’ve seen quite a few dust ups between coaches and umpires. It’s crazy that people act like that at sporting events for kids, but that’s the way it is these days. I’ve had a few umpires come up to me recently, and say they wanted to start taking lessons from me. So, I decided I would do some free lessons for umpires only. I appreciate what they do, and I love to help the community. We started lessons on Monday night, and I had 6 umps show up. I’ve talked to a couple since Monday that plan to come next week, so I think we’ll have even more join us.”

I was able to talk with a couple of the umpires that attended the initial training. One ump said, “Look, people are crazy these days. You’ve seen the videos on social media. I just want to be able to defend myself. I’ve never gotten into a physical altercation with a coach or parent, but I’ve had a couple close calls. I just wanna be ready, because I think it’ll probably happen sooner or later.”

Another ump said, “Look, I can throw hands. I can defend myself. Thank God I haven’t had to yet, but that time will probably come. But, I want to learn jiu jitsu so I submit a crazy coach. Wouldn’t it be crazy to see a psycho coach have to tap out on the field? I hope it never happens, but I wanna be ready.”

Gracie’s free lessons for umpires will last for 10 weeks. Every umpire that completes his program will receive a certificate and small jiu jitsu patches to wear on their uniforms. Gracie and the umpires hope that patch will deter some of the crazy aggressive behavior of the coaches and parents.

by Offe Hisczrocher

It appears that clothing manufacturers are making clothes smaller these days. Inflation might be the cause; maybe the price of cotton and other materials have increased. Therefore, clothing companies are using less material to save cost. Or, maybe people just like to wear more revealing clothing, and the clothing companies are giving their customers what they want. Regardless, everywhere you go these days you see skin- cleavage, stomachs, legs, buttocks, and guys’ thighs.

Valley City passed what many called the Dress Code in November of 2023, and it was controversial at the time. But, Valley City really never enforced it until now, and heads are turning. Four females have been cited in the past two weeks, and the latest two ladies that have been cited has created quite the buzz in Valley City and on social media.

The most controversial part of the ordinance was that any female age 45 or older that was in violation would be fined $500 and have to spend a night in jail. Again, no lady 45 or older has been cited until now. Mrs. Stacy Sweeney, the wife of Valley City’s high school principal, was cited last week. Yesterday, Mrs. London Hilton, the wife of the Valley County Hospital CEO, was cited. Both ladies were ordered to pay the fine, but neither had to spend a night in jail. But, both prominent women were humiliated by having their pictures and offenses posted on social media by the Valley City Police Dept. (VCPD).

The mayor and the police chief couldn’t be reached for comment, however I was able to get a statement from the VCPD spokesperson. He said, “This ordinance has been on the books for over 2 years now. It was well publicized when it was enacted. It hasn’t been enforced, but things have gotten out of hand. It’s understandable to occasionally see teenage girls wearing revealing clothing, so we’ve been lenient on them. But, we’ve seen way too many women 45 and over showing off their stomachs recently. Many of these women have kids in high school and college, and some of them are actually grandmothers. It was time to enforce the ordinance. The VCPD doesn’t care about your social status or who you’re married to; we’re going to enforce the ordinance going forward. Also, no one in violation has spent a night in jail, but that could change in the future. You’ve been warned.”

I was able to talk with some Valley City residents, and I perused local social media groups. The feelings in the community are mixed. Many young people think the VCPD has gone too far, and many older people are glad they’re finally enforcing it.

One young lady and mom said, “This is so crazy. What am I supposed to wear? I want to look trendy and cute. The clothes are just made this way these days. I guess I can’t wear a crop top in town anymore; I’ll just dress like my grandma. It’s so ridiculous! The police chief must be trying to get fired. They tried to make an example out of these high-profile ladies in our community. They better not actually put one of us ladies in jail for a night. It will be on then!”

An older lady commented, “It’s about time they started enforcing this! Every time I go downtown, I see skin, skin, and more skin. It’s not that hard ladies and young men. Cover yourselves up! If you’re a mom or grandma, you shouldn’t be showing off your stomach, legs, or butt. I think most reasonable people agree with that.”

Will the VCPD back down? The next city board meeting should be interesting. Many women on social media have said they will be attending the meeting to have their voices heard. The SRVO will be there to cover it.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Travel or select baseball and softball are very popular now. Families are packing up and traveling all over the place each weekend playing games and tournaments. They’re practicing a couple nights each week working on their crafts. A whole industry has been created around these sports. Organizations and tournament organizers are making a lot of money off these kids and families. But, the families and kids are not getting a piece of the pie. Now, they have a tool to help with expenses and possibly even make money.

The Strong River Valley Technology Initiative (SRVTI) got back in the lab this past week and created 5Tool. One of SRVTI’s members has a son that has a promising future as a baseball player, and he brought the issue of the cost of the sport up to the SRVTI board. They got to work, and created this awesome tool for young ball players.

5Tool will allow young baseball and softball players (ages 7-12) to obtain name, image, and likeness (NIL) deals just like college athletes. Parents can setup a profile for the kids on the site, and businesses and organizations can choose kids to sponsor off the site. Parents are in charge, and it’s free to join.

5TOOL APP

Parents and coaches are excited about 5Tool. One 12U baseball coach said, “I have at least 4 future college players on my team now. They’ve had no way to make money and help pay for ball expenses. 5Tool will help them build a brand, and it’ll help them market themselves to businesses and sponsors. This could really change the travel ball game.”

One softball mom said, “Lillie Ruth has had multiple teams and coaches try to poach her off her current team. They’ve promised free gear and money to help with travel, and I don’t like it. It just doesn’t seem right to be doing that to a 10 year old. 5Tool will give her an opportunity to make some money the right way, and she can get her true worth. I think it’s great.”

by Ben BeEssen

Ricky’s on the River is a Valley staple, and it’s a very popular spot this time of year. People flock there to feast on crawfish, drink beer, and enjoy the awesome Valley and river vibes. They also have a popular crawfish eating contest each year that we’ve written about before. Things were going great this Tuesday night at Ricky’s until an out-of-towner showed up.

Witnesses said an out-of-towner that no one recognized came in around 5:45 pm, and he sat at the bar alone. About 5 minutes later, Billy Brawlar, an amateur MMA fighter, and his girlfriend, Kim Swift, walked in and sat by the gentlemen. They were seen having a little small talk with the out-of-towner, and everything seemed to be going fine. Things made a turn for the worst around 6:15. Brawlar was heard raising his voice, and the out-of-towner and Brawler stood up chest-to-chest. They could be overheard using some language you wouldn’t hear in Sunday School, and things got physical.

Brawlar said, “Look, I was trying to be nice to the guy. He told us he was from New York, and he was here on business. But, he was kind of a know-it-all. He kept talking about how great the Yankees are. He heard my girlfriend say crawfish a couple times, and he started correcting her telling her that they’re pronounced cray-fish. I told him that we don’t say that here. You may say that up in New York, but we say craw-fish down here.”

I talked to some Ricky’s employees including the bartender, and they said the guy was a bit of a jerk. One said that you could tell he thought he was a little haughty, and you could tell he was looking down on people in the restaurant. They said he just couldn’t understand why we love these crayfish.

Brawlar added, “What really did it was when he started making fun of me for saying y’all. In a fake southern drawl, he said, “Y’all hicks love these crawfish.” I couldn’t take anymore of his crap after that. I stood up and told him that he needed to go back where he came from, and I told him some other things that I can’t repeat too. He was a lot bigger than me, but he didn’t scare me. He pushed me first, and then it was on! I let him know what’s up!”

The sheriff’s department was called, and a couple deputies showed up soon after. Things had settled down by the time they’d arrived. The New Yorker left with a black eye and bloody lip before the deputies arrived. No charges were filed. As the New Yorker was leaving, the diners gave Brawlar a standing ovation for his efforts.

Folks, we’re serious about our crawfish here in The Valley. It’s not advisable to make fun of us Valleyans concerning our crawfish and our language. I’ll add you may not want to make fun of our college football or baseball either.

by Ima Phibber

For a small rural area, The Strong River Valley has a ton of talent. One area of immense talent in the The Valley is our music. SRV Records is leading the way on the music scene in The Valley. They’re a small record label with 3 strong local artists- Bubba Swompz, Lily of The Valley, and Don Cartwright. Since coming onto the scene, Bubba Swompz has been prolific, and he’s released some great music. Up until now, Bubba has produced only country hip hop tracks, but Bubba has seen The Light. He will be releasing a gospel album called “A Gospel Compilation” on May 8th. He’s also releasing a single on the album called “The Good Shepherd” tomorrow. You can listen and download it on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music and all the major streaming platforms.

I was able to sit down with Swompz this week on his lunch break to discuss his new album. Swompz said, “I’ve been busy lately with work and my music. I’ve gotten more active in my church the past 6 months or so, and I’ve sang in church a good bit. A couple people at church told me that I needed to do a gospel album. I’d never really thought about it. I started mulling it around, and God and I decided that I needed to do one. So, I’ve been working on it for a few months, and here we are!”

Swompz added, “I tried to base most of the songs on scripture. I think too much of contemporary Christian music is not really based on scripture. Many songs have good messages, but they’re lacking a little. I hope to point listeners to God and The Word with my album. For example, my single that I’m releasing on Friday called “The Good Shepherd” is based on John 10:11.”

Swompz said, “Valleyans have been good to me. I’m just a dude chasing my dream. I hope “A Gospel Compilation” will touch and minister to some folks. I’ve enjoyed making and producing the album. Y’all checkout “The Good Shepherd” tomorrow, and mark your calendar for May 8th when the full album is released. Also, follow SRV Records on Facebook and Instagram! God Bless!”

by Emma Embellischer

Drivers have to be on the lookout for animals while driving in Mississippi and The Valley, especially at night. Deer are the main worry, because they can cause major damage to a vehicle. But, motorists also have to be on the lookout for other animals as well. Many car accidents are caused each year because of drivers trying to avoid animals. There’s a ton of wildlife along Hwy. 13 between Strong River Bend (SRB) and Valley City close to the 40B Development, and many animals are struck and killed along this stretch of highway. The Strong River Valley Transit Authority (SRVTA) has decided to take action to protect motorists in this area.

SRVTA Chairman Mehate Teslaz said, “We’ve been hearing complaints from Valley motorists about this strip of Hwy. 13 for some time, so we decided to do something about it. The SRVTA board has debated for a few months about a solution, and we finally formed a consensus at the last board meeting. We decided to build a wildlife bridge over Hwy. 13. You may have heard about this idea before. Gov. Newscum from California is doing this in his state. Unlike him, we plan to spend way less of your tax dollars and keep the project on time and actually complete the project.”

The wildlife bridge is expected to cost about $2.9 million, and construction is scheduled to start in 3 weeks. The SRVTA anticipates the project will take about 7 weeks to complete. Traffic on Hwy. 13 along the construction area will be impacted in the coming weeks while the bridge is being built.

Teslaz added, “This will simply be a small bridge over the highway. It’ll be similar to a pedestrian bridge over a busy highway or freeway in a large city. It will be approximately 25 feet wide to be able to handle wildlife traffic coming from both directions. We will plant grass and some plants on the bridge to make it appear as natural as possible. We think it will cut down on road kill and vehicle accidents, and that’s a good thing.”

The SRVTA will post signs on the right of way by the bridge and in the wooded areas surrounding the bridge to direct animals to the bridge for safe crossing. They also plan to have employees occasionally walk across the bridge to show animals how it works. Teslaz said, “We realize it’ll take some time for the animals to get accustomed to it, but we hope the signs and training will do the trick. You’ll have some mavericks and stubborn animals that won’t take the bridge, and we realize that.”

signs for animals

Valley residents have mixed feelings about the wildlife bridge. One resident said, “Is this a joke? Our hard-earned tax dollars are going to this garbage? The animals won’t use it. Kids are probably gonna use it to terrorize people driving thru there. This is such a stupid idea. We gotta clean house at the SRVTA and get rid of the board!”

Another resident said, “Oh, this is such a great idea! I know a lot of the animals probably won’t use it. But, if we can just save one raccoon’s life or one deer’s life, it’ll be worth it. The armadillos have no hope, but we can save other animals’ lives, and that’s a good thing.”

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

The SRVTI has done it again. I’m a happily married man with 10 kids. We have a great crazy life together, and I love my wife to death. But, sometimes she can be a little moody, and I’m sure all you men out there know what I’m talking about. The SRVTI has created a tool to help us men out.

WIFE MOOD PREDICTOR

The Wife Mood Predictor app allows men to gauge their wife’s mood based on various factors. Hopefully, you men out there won’t have to check anything on the right, because the more you have to check the more you’re in trouble. So, men let’s try our best to leave the things on the right unchecked.

The Wife Mood Predictor app won’t be a panacea, but it will hopefully help us men stay out of trouble. In the future, hopefully they’ll add tips for us men to butter our wives up when we get into trouble. Oh yeah, you don’t have to married to use this app guys!

by I. B. Lyon

You rarely hear of credible Bigfoot sightings in Mississippi and the South. We are pretty rural around these parts, but there normally are some folks or a settlement within a few miles of you. Bigfoot sightings in the US are normally in wilderness areas out West. But, that changed this past weekend. There was a credible sighting at the Strong River just outside of Strong River Bend (SRB) this past Friday.

According to the National Bigfoot Search Commission (NBSC), a credible Bigfoot sighting must have visual proof (picture or video), and it must be accompanied by at least one clear footprint. Both items were provided for this sighting.

Johnny Riverrat, Willie Strong, and Billy Strong saw Bigfoot this past Friday, allegedly. These guys are not strangers to Valleyans and SRVO readers. You can read a story about them discovering the legendary pyconda HERE. The crew was fishing late Friday afternoon like they usually do, but it was not a normal Friday afternoon at the river.

Riverrat said, “We fished for about an hour, and we’d caught 6-7 bluegills. It was getting close to dark, and we’d drank all our beer. So, it was time to head back to the house. Willie and Billy had done walked up the riverbank, and I was headed up. I just happened to look back to make sure I didn’t leave anything, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t believe it. Luckily, I didn’t drop my stuff and make noise. I managed to get my phone out and get a pic of him from behind before he vanished. It was getting dark, so it’s not the best picture. But, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was Bigfoot.”

The 3 gentlemen walked over to where Riverrat saw Bigfoot, and they were able to see a few footprints. They took some pictures of the footprints. Riverrrat added, “I know why they call him Bigfoot. His footprint was huge! It was about twice as big as mine. He would probably wear about a size 20 shoe.”

Most Valleyans are not buying the Bigfoot sighting. I’ve perused through a couple Valley and SRB Facebook groups, and very few folks are taking it seriously. But, Riverrat is adamant that he saw Bigfoot. He said, “I know people think I’m crazy, and they’re right. I’m pretty crazy. But, I know what I saw. Some people will say I was drunk, but I’d only had 3 beers. It was Bigfoot! No doubt!”

This is the first credible sighting ever in Mississippi according to the NBSC. Will there be more? Valleyans, be on the lookout for Bigfoot! You just never know.

by Ima Phibber

Good things are happening in The Valley and in Strong River Bend (SRB). People have been watching the construction of the new shopping center in SRB for some time, and it finally opened this Monday. Strong River Bend Commons opened to much fanfare, and the parking lot has been packed with cars.

Strong River Bend Commons aka The Commons is not a large development; it only contains 3 tenants. But, it’s going to house three exciting businesses. The Commons was the brainchild of Valley entrepreneur Bubba Binness. Binness said, “I’ve been wanting to build a premier commercial development in SRB for quite a while, and I’ve finally got it done. I had all 3 suites occupied well before the building was completed. I think the people of SRB are really going to enjoy The Commons, and the businesses are going to be a great service to our community.”

The center tenant is a vape shop- Visionary Vapes. On one end is a nutrition shop- SRB Nutrition, and the other end is a liquor store- Valley View Liquor. SRB Nutrition will have loaded teas, energy drinks, and other drinks. People have been flocking to The Commons this week to check out these new businesses. I was able to speak to multiple members of the community, and I got some mixed feelings.

One lady said, “I’m so pumped about this. I can start at SRB Nutrition with my favorite loaded tea, then I can go over to the vape shop and get my refills, and I can finish up at the liquor store. What else could a person need? I’m excited, and I’m gonna be hangin out at The Commons a lot.”

An older gentleman said, “This is an embarrassment. How did the board of aldermen approve this? We really need a vape shop and a liquor store around here! As a believer and a Baptist, I am appalled. Couldn’t they have put something else there? Maybe a Subway? I know it cost an arm a leg to eat there now, but come on! I doubt you’ll see me at The Commons.”