by Mack Speed

Howdy Valleyans! We had the second race of the Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL), and it was a great night. Again, we had a great raucous crowd; I think we had around 1,700 fans. I thought we had the parking issues fixed, but we still had some issues. A couple people got boxed in, and they were not happy about it. I thought we were going to have one of them ram into another vehicle on purpose, but it didn’t happen. My parking guys are teenagers, and I’m paying them $25 per night (cash). They’re gonna have to learn that they’re in control, and they have to tell people where to park. Otherwise, we have chaos.

People were tailgating again, and I really like to see that. My Ole Miss fans were back with their chandelier. They gave me some great food. This really creates a football-like atmosphere, and I think it’s a good thing.

Smoking and vaping is not allowed at the Valley Motor Speedway, but evidently people can’t read. I got multiple complaints from fans about people about smoking and vaping. People are pretty sneaky about hiding those vaping thingamajigs. I know we had some 11-12 year old kids vaping, and I’m sure they got it from their parents. Back in my day, kids that age would be chewing tobacco or dipping snuff. Now, they want to vape. America has gone downhill. I’ll do what I can do address this, but it’s going to be hard to stop.

We had 8 porta potties setup, and that seemed to alleviate the lines to use the bathroom. I got reports of little boys peeing out in the open, but we can tolerate that. As far as I know, we didn’t have anyone betting on races, so that’s a good thing. We have to stay vigilant about that.

The races were very good again. My son, Dale Earnhardt Speed, won the junior race again. He did have a little competition this race unlike the previous race. Again, I’ll be surprised if he loses a race. The main race was a good one again. Tony Johnson beat Jimmie Stewart by a hair. Those two were bumping and grinding the whole race; they’re going to have to do a lot of work on their mowers before the next race. Their wives had words, and they had to be separated. So, this rivalry looks like it’s going to be heated. The other racers need to make some significant changes in order to compete with these two guys.

Overall, the second race night was a success. I think we’re building something pretty special that people don’t want to miss. We’ll see you again on October 7th!

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

The Strong River Bend (SRB) faithful didn’t have high expectations coming into the 2023 season. Despite that, they’ve gotten off to a hot start. They’re 4-0, and none of the games have been close. They’ve outscored their first 4 opponents by a margin of 202 to 20.

SRB’s coach, Jackie Mullen, implemented what he calls the Bulldozer offense. Mullen said, “Well you know, it’s an old school offense. It’s like watching football from the 70s or 80s. We don’t throw the ball. We simply run the ball down your throat, and we may you like it. I could tell this summer during three-a-days we had a chance to be pretty good.” I asked Coach Mullen if they will throw the ball any this year. He said, “Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and only one of them is good. No, we won’t throw it any. Load the box, we don’t care. We gonna run it. Mess with a bull, and you get the horns!”

In order to run an offense like the Bulldozer, you need good running backs, and SRB has two good ones. Herschel Campbell is the power back, and Barry Dickerson is the speed back. Quarterback, Wayne Wyatt has a pretty easy job; hand the ball to these 2 great backs. Both backs have ran for over 150 yards in each of the first 4 games, and they’ve combined to score 23 touchdowns thus far.

The Bulldozer offense is complemented by a great defense too. Defensive coordinator, Joe Lee Grantham, calls his defense the Maroon Blitzkrieg. Coach Grantham is super aggressive, and he blitzes at least one defender every play. Coach Grantham said, “We coming baby! We’re gonna blitz and hit you in the mouth, so you better be ready.”

I asked Coach Mullen if he thinks they can continue this pace. He said, “Well you know, I think we can. We got that dog in us. We have a way of demoralizing teams and just ripping their heart out. We’re going to continue to be relentless.” We’ll see if they can continue this torrid pace; SRB is going to be a tough out for any team this season.

by Emma Embellischer

There has been a rash of animal control incidents recently in the Puckett and SE Rankin County area. Cows have been getting out regularly, and a beautiful white chicken has been running wild as well. There has been multiple issues with dogs as well. The residents of this area of The Valley have been up in arms; they have been posting vociferously in the Let’s Talk Puckett Facebook groups about the incidents. The area authorities felt is was tantamount to hire an animal control specialist to rectify the problems before things get out of control.

The SE Rankin County Commission (SERCC) along with the Town of Puckett has agreed to hire a part-time animal control specialist. The person will be paid $500 per month, and they will be on call 24/7. The position is not considered a law enforcement officer, but they will need to work and coordinate with law enforcement. The person will be provided a used truck, refurbished ipad, flip phone, along with other resources (no gun). Applicants that have canine, bovine, and poultry experience will be given the most consideration, and a college degree is not required but it’s desired.

A SERCC spokesperson said, “SE Rankin County has become ground zero for animal control incidents in The Valley and possibly the state of MS. We realized we had to do something about it. We monitor the area Facebook groups, and we felt some of the incidents could’ve really gotten out of hand.”

To apply for the position, applicants can go to www.sercc.gov, and click on Animal Control Specialist- Apply. SERCC is accepting applicants until September 22nd, and they plan to make the hire by September 29th, and the person will go to work on October 1st. SERCC will have a hotline for residents with an animal control issue to call- 1-800-CALLASC, and it will go live on October 1st.

The SERCC spokesperson also said, “Some have called this position a “dog catcher”, but that’s an insult. This position will need multiple skills in addition to dealing with animals; dispute resolution skills will very important as well as other relational skills. This person also needs to be level-headed and patient to deal with residents in tense situations.”

Residents of SE Rankin County and The Valley are glad this issue is being addressed. Hopefully, this will help maintain harmony in the community and tamp down the drama in the area Facebook groups, but time will tell.

by B. S. Ryter

Drone shows are becoming more and more popular. Many towns and organizations did drone shows during July 4th celebrations in addition to fireworks. It’s a new and novel thing that will probably continue to grow in popularity.

Valley Prep has a small band that performs during halftime, and they do a great job. But, Valley Prep’s band director, Holda Knote, wanted to shake things up. She saw a drone show at a July 4th celebration, and she thought that she needed to add one to their halftime show. Valley Prep has a great technology department, so she knew they had the brainpower to make it happen. She started a fundraising campaign to buy the drones and necessary equipment; the cost was around $20,000.

Knote said, “We needed two students to conduct the drone show, so we decided to have tryouts. Wow, it was super competitive. I had parents trying to bribe me with cash and vacations. So, I expect this to be one of the most coveted spots in any of our extra curricular activities going forward. Every kid in our technology department tried out, and we selected two super smart kids: Sun-Bae Moon and Bubba Singh.” Moon and Singh have been practicing with the band every day.

Moon and Singh will do a different show at each of Valley Prep’s home football games. Moon said, “We practice about 3 hours per day. We don’t want to let Ms. Knote down, and we want to uphold the standard of the Valley Prep Tech Department. It’s pretty grueling stuff. My GPA has suffered some since taking this on. I did have a 4.5, and now it’s down to a 4.3. I really hope it doesn’t hurt my chances to get into Harvard or MIT.”

Knote said, “We’re going to be the only school in the state and in The Valley with a halftime drone show, and we hope to set the standard just like everything else we do at Valley Prep. After all, our motto is “Set the Standard.” I expect Sun-Bae and Bubba to do well, but I won’t hesitate to replace them if the show is not up to my standard.”

Valley Prep students and fans can’t wait to see the drone shows at each home game. We expect other schools to add drone shows, but as usual, Valley Prep sets the standard.

by Mack Speed

Hello Valleyans and Happy Labor Day! Hopefully, you’re reading this sitting on your butt at home enjoying a day off work. The inaugural race of the Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL) at The Valley Motor Speedway was a success. However, it was pretty darn stressful for yours truly. We had a great crowd, but parking was a bit of an issue. My parking guys need a little training. We had people parking in every way imaginable, and we only had one physical altercation among a couple fans in the parking lot. So, that was a win; it could’ve been a lot worse.

We had around 1,500 fans, and they were a raucous bunch. We saw some Forrest and Hinds County tags, so we had people coming all the way from Hattiesburg and Jackson. But, the vast majority of the fans were Valleyans. We don’t have a grandstand or bleachers, so everyone sat in lawn chairs. Some were tailgating; they setup tents and were grilling. One tent even had a chandelier; they were probably Ole Miss fans. We had a lot of kids there, so that’s a good thing. I want the races to be family friendly.

We also had a bathroom issue. We had 6 porta potties setup, so we’ll probably need to get a few more. We had multiple kids that ended up peeing in public because they couldn’t wait in line. One porta potty was put of work because a very large man lost his balance while inside, and he caused it to fall on its side. Let’s just say that poor guy will probably never show his face in public again. I don’t know who cleaned that thing out, but God bless them.

I know we had fans betting on races. We don’t have a licensed sportsbook, so that was illegal. We’ll address this at the next race; we’ll have up signs letting people know betting is not allowed.

We had some good races. Dale Earnhardt Speed, my son, won the junior race. I doubt he loses a race this season. He’s mine, so you know that boy can race. The main race was a really good one. Jimmie Stewart won, and he beat Tony Johnson by a hair. It was really a two man race the entire race; they were going back and forth the whole race. There was a lot of bumping and grinding going on between those two. I foresee those two having one heck of a rivalry. The other racers are going to have to work on their mowers quite a bit to get them to Stewart and Johnson’s level.

Overall, our first race night went well. We have a few kinks to work out, but we’ll get them fixed. We look forward to many more. Valleyans, y’all come out to the races on the 3rd Saturday night!

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

The Valley is very dry right now. Many older Valleyans have said this is the driest The Valley has ever been. Valley farmers are hurting and it looks like there is no relief in sight. The Valley Farmer Consortium (VFC) recently met to discuss the situation. Out of desperation, the VFC decided to send a team to visit the Navajo nation to learn their rain dance.

The Navajo have lived in the American Southwest for hundreds of years, and drought is the norm in that area of the country. So, they have done rain dances for generations to win favor of the gods and to bring rain for their crops. The Navajo rain dance team was very happy to host the VFC representatives for a couple days.

The Navajo dance team gave a two day in depth course on their rain dance. It had powerpoint presentations and actual dance demonstrations, and the VFC reps were encouraged to participate in the dances. One VFC farmer in attendance told me, “Learning the rain dance was pretty interesting. I knew I was out of shape, but I didn’t realize how bad it was. I thought I was going to die, and I pulled a muscle in my calf.”

Another VFC farmer I spoke with shared the same sentiments. He said, “This rain dance ain’t no joke. It’s a lot different than line dancing or square dancing. I had to take a lot of breaks, and that didn’t make Chief Pouring Rain very happy. I also turned my ankle on one of the jumps. I was tired, and I probably should’ve been sitting out. Luckily, it’s just a minor sprain.”

Chief Pouring Rain said, “The VFC farmers were great to work with, and they were receptive to our ideas and customs. The actual dancing was difficult to watch, and they really struggled. So, I offered to come to The Valley to lead a rain dance, and they gladly took me up on the offer.”

The VFC will host Chief Pouring Rain on Saturday, September 2nd at 6:00 pm for a rain dance ceremony. The VFC dancing farmers will be decked out in Navajo rain dance garb, and they are excited about the dance. Unfortunately, it will not be open to the public, and media will not be allowed. We submitted a media request to attend, but we were denied.

Hopefully, the VFC rain dance will work. However, I think prayer to the Almighty God is a much better option, so I encourage all of you to PRAY FOR RAIN!

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

The U.S. Supreme Court reached a landmark 9-0 decision in 2021 that changed the college sports landscape forever. Their decision allowed college athletes to get paid for their name, image, and likeness (NIL). It’s a very controversial issue among college sports fans. Some high profile athletes have gotten 7 figure deals, and many people equate the current NIL environment to the Wild Wild West.

NIL has been limited to college athletes, but a local select baseball coach is changing the game. Coach Rich Diamond has formed The Diamond Collective which will cater to Valley baseball and softball players between the ages of 10-18. Diamond said, “I’ve always been aggressive and progressive, and I’ve thought about this for a while. Now, was the time to make it happen. There’s nothing like this in MS and the entire country that I’m aware of.”

Coach Diamond has been in talks with many Valley businesses to contribute to the collective, and many have agreed to participate. Diamond also plans to contribute his own money to the collective to get it up and running. Diamond created a software portal that allows athletes’ parents to create a profile and upload their child’s videos and stats. Business owners can choose which athletes to do deals with using the portal. Diamond doesn’t plan to put a cap on the deals, and he wants the market to work itself out. Diamond said, “This is new, and I expect businesses to be cautious initially. These are kids after all. But, putting a cap on earnings is just anti-capitalism, and we’ll never do that.”

Also, Diamond is guaranteeing any athlete in The Diamond Collective a minimum of $100 per month of payments. Diamond will have the say so on which athletes are allowed into the collective. Diamond said, “We want only the top level baseball and softball players in our collective, so there will be a stringent vetting process for athletes that apply.”

One local participating business owner said, “I’m so excited about this, and I just think it’s a smarter way for us to spend our advertising dollars.” Some parents are excited about the collective too. One parent told me, “This could help us out a lot. This travel ball is expensive, and it’ll be nice if we can get a $200- $300 per month to help out with expenses.”

Everyone is not happy about The Diamond Collective though. A local high school baseball coach told me, “This is insane. These kids are already entitled, and this is going to make it even worse. Coach Diamond has always been over the top, and this is just crazy.” I spoke to a couple parents about the idea, and they weren’t thrilled. One said, “What if my son isn’t good enough to get a deal, and a couple of his friends get deals? It’s going to be those that get deals vs. those that don’t get deals. It’s going to be unhealthy.”

In addition to The Diamond Collective, Diamond plans to create a transfer portal similar to the current NCAA transfer portal. It will allow parents that are unhappy with their current select baseball or softball team or coach to look for other teams. He also hopes the collective will attract larger businesses outside of The Valley to spend their advertising dollars on his athletes. This is going to be very interesting, and Valleyans are eager to see how it plays out.

by Offe Hisczrocher

The Valley City Police Department (VCPD) has been considering adding a mounted patrol unit for a while because of the increase in visitors to the downtown area. Mounted patrol units are good tools for crowd control, and they help deter crime. When you think of mounted patrol units, you think of a police officer on a horse. That’s what VCPD had in mind initially, but their plans changed. Since The Valley has basically become a desert recently, VCPD felt a camel would be a better option.

VCPD found Nadia online from a camel farm in Saudi Arabia. She has actually served as a mounted patrol unit in Saudi Arabia, and that was a big plus for the VCPD. They made arrangements to get her to Valley City, and she arrived a couple days ago. VCPD chief Joe Turban said, “We’re so excited about Nadia and what she’s going to add to our department. She has a great temperament, and everyone already loves her. The kids are really going to love her. We have some challenges we have to work through with her, but she’s going to be a big asset for us.”

The main challenge Chief Turban is referring to is the language barrier; all of Nadia’s owners and handlers have spoken Arabic. So, the mounted officers are going to have to learn some Arabic in order to work with her. A couple officers have already started the process of learning basic commands for her. I spoke with Barney Griffith who will be one of the mounted officers. Griffith said, “I never thought I’d be learning Arabic. It’s a lot different than English, that’s for sure. I really like Nadia, and I think we’re gonna have a good working relationship. Hopefully, she’ll be patient with me while I learn some Arabic.”

Beautiful Nadia

Chief Turban said Nadia will hopefully start patrolling in a month or so, but it depends on how quickly his mounted officers can overcome the language barrier. Valleyans are excited about Nadia. One downtown business owner I spoke with said, “This is very unique for The Valley and America; you don’t see camels with mounted patrol units. I think people from all around are going to come see Nadia, so I think it will help me and other downtown businesses. Plus, you know kids are going to love interacting with her. It’s going to be a good thing for Valley City and The Valley.”

Get ready Valleyans! You’re going to see Nadia overload on the socials soon. Nadia loves people and she is friendly, but keep in mind that camels do spit when they feel threatened or uncomfortable. Chief Turban said, “Valleyans, give her some space and be respectful. You don’t want her to spit on you; it’s not pleasant.”

by Tre McGyver

It looks like I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew. The former HOA president, Billy Buffmeister, wasn’t doing jack squat to enforce the HOA rules. I’m thinking this just might be Mission Impossible. In the past, I got along with everyone in Valley Meadows except my next door neighbors, the Jones (I’ll have to write another story to explain that mess). Things aren’t quite the same now that I’m starting to enforce the HOA rules, but I have to do my job.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So, I started with all the residents that needed to cut their grass. I sent letters to four residents that needed to cut their grass. Johnny Bieber was the worst offender. Johnny and his baby momma haven’t cut their grass all summer. It was literally chest high. They lost a kid a couple weeks ago for about 30 minutes; they had half the neighborhood looking for him. Well, he was just quietly playing with a truck by their mobile home, but you couldn’t see him because of the tall grass. I thought I would have to fine Johnny to get him to cut it, but he surprised me and finally cut it. He almost finished, but his mower’s motor burned up before he finished. I did a good deed, and I finished it for him.

As you know, we have a burn ban in The Valley. It’s super dry right now. Plus, it’s against the HOA rules to burn your trash. Smokey Magee thinks that doesn’t apply to him. He burns his trash 2-3 times per week. I recently approached him and told him he needs to stop burning his trash. Smokey told me to jump in a lake, and he flipped me the bird. He’ll be receiving a cease and desist letter soon.

Valley Meadows has a really nice above ground pool with a patio and gazebo. The Lewis family and their friends basically take the place over. They hog the pool, and other residents don’t get to swim. Plus, they play loud music and get rowdy. The pool is supposed to close at 9:00 pm on weekdays and 10:00 pm on Friday and Saturday. I approached Karen Lewis about them staying out there too late. It didn’t go too well. She said, “Who do you think you are? You become HOA president and you think you can tell everyone what to do. Not gonna happen.” She’ll be receiving a letter soon. The name Karen fits her well.

Folks, that’s the issues I tried to tackle this past week. It’s only going to get harder from here, but I’ll take it one issue at a time. Stay tuned to see what’s happening in Valley Meadows. It’s gonna be fun!

by Ima Phibber

Most Valleyans don’t believe in man-made climate change, and they think of climate change activists as left-wing wackos. However, 4 brave souls dared to protest against man-made climate change at the Strong River Bend (SRB) 4-way stop yesterday, and their protest didn’t go over too well. The 4 protesters are members of the South Central MS Green Alliance.

The protesters started protesting during rush hour around 7:00 am yesterday morning at the 4-way stop. They held up signs about the evils of fossil fuels and the horrors of gas stoves. The protesters picketed until around 8:30, and they felt drivers didn’t pay attention to them. They got a few honks, and a few motorists flipped them the bird. One protester said, “We didn’t feel like we accomplished much during the morning, so we decided to up the ante during the afternoon rush hour. We decided to lay down in the highway to raise awareness. We knew that was risky, but it had to be done.”

Most drivers just drove around the protesters while they laid at the intersection, and many motorists honked and yelled obscenities at the protesters. However, multiple people exited their vehicles and forcibly removed the protesters. One protester told me, “This guy grabbed me by shirt and drug me to the side of the highway, and my shirt tore. These people in The Valley are savages!” One motorist said, “These idiots gotta realize this ain’t San Francisco. I’m not gonna let these idiots hold me up from getting home. I nicely asked him to get up and move out of the way, but he refused. So, I grabbed him by his shirt and drug him out of the highway.”

Farmer “Mean” Joe Green roughed up one of the male protesters. Green was in his tractor, and he stopped in front of the protester and honked the horn. The protester refused to move, so Green got out and kicked the protester multiple times. The protester got up and called him a derogatory term, and Green punched the protester in the face. Green said, “That moron better be glad I was in a good mood today. If I would’ve been in a bad mood, I probably would’ve ran over him. I bet these morons don’t come back to SRB. I did a favor for Valleyans.” Green was charged with assault and battery, but the charges were dropped.

One protester said, “We probably won’t come back to The Valley. We felt our lives were in danger. It’s just so sad. These people just don’t care that they’re destroying the planet.”