Archives December 2025

by I. B. Lyon

Christmas is going to be mild in The Valley this year. It’s going to be one of those crazy Christmases where we’ll be wearing shorts and running the a/c. We all know this will become more common because of climate change. A Valley Santa Claus has used this mild Christmas weather to make some extra money in a unique way.

Many people in The Valley are going to spend Christmas in and around their swimming pools. We rarely get weather this mild around Christmas, so many Valleyans are using it to to spend time outside with their families around the pool. Nick Jolly saw an opportunity with this crazy Christmas weather.

Jolly is a plumber by trade, but he’s always looking for a side hustle to make extra money. Jolly said, “I got 4 young kids and a wife that likes to spend money, so I’m always looking for a good side hustle. I knew the weather was going to be warm this year, and I saw people on Facebook talking about spending Christmas outside by their pools. A light bulb went on in my head. I can dress up like Santa and wear a Speedo, and I can charge a fee to show up at Christmas gatherings for pictures. I didn’t expect much, but I’ve got 12 bookings. I still have a few time slots open- $100 each for 15 minutes.”

Jolly has never dressed as Santa, but he’s embraced it. Jolly said, “I’ve been working on my Santa gut for about 20 years, and I started growing out my beard last year. I’m going to have to dye it, but that’s ok. I had to buy a Speedo. This ain’t Europe, so us dudes don’t normally wear Speedos around here. They’re calling me Speedo Santa, so I’m gonna roll with it!”

Jolly understands that this gig probably won’t be available each year. Jolly said, “It ain’t gonna be this warm every Christmas, so this gig won’t be an option each year. But, I’m gonna take advantage of while I can. Who knows? Maybe I can charge more if the weather is colder in the future. I’m not sure I can handle cold weather in a Speedo, but I guess I can bring my coveralls.”

I was able to speak to one of Jolly’s customers, and she’s excited. She said, “I’m so pumped that Speedo Santa is coming to see us. It’s gonna be a surprise; I’m the only one that knows he’s coming. I can’t wait to see everyone’s reaction when he takes off his suit. I’m even paying him an extra $50 to jump into the pool. We’re going to have some great memorable Christmas pics this year!”

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Strong River Bend (SRB) High School loves its football and baseball programs. They have a history of good teams in both sports, and they’ve won multiple state championships in both sports. Many people in the community were surprised when they started boys’ and girls’ soccer programs a couple years ago. SRB is a rural town that has never had a youth soccer program, so most residents know very little about soccer.

The first couple years for the boys’ soccer team were pretty tough. They won only one game their first year, and they won three games last year. Their coach for the first two years moved onto another school, so they had to hire a new coach. They were able to get Valley County native, Woody Bryant, to coach the team on a volunteer basis. Coach Bryant coached high school football in central MS for years, and he won four state championships. He’s a legend in the The Valley. He was known for being a tough hard-nosed coach, and he’s tried to instill this into SRB’s soccer team.

Coach Bryant said, “I didn’t know anything about soccer, and I still don’t know a whole lot. I watched a few YouTube videos and read a few articles. I realized soccer is a pretty physical sport, so I knew I needed to recruit some football players to play. Luckily for me, the football team had a down year this year, so I was able to get the football players out pretty early for soccer. My mantra with the boys is to play physical and aggressive. I told them that we were going to play physical and aggressive, and we did that. But, we might’ve gone a little overboard.”

Coach Bryant’s team had only lost one game, and it was against a much larger school. They may have lost that game, but they won the fight. Multiple SRB players were ejected for fighting in that game. They knocked out at least two players on every team they played against. They knocked out six players against one team, and that team had to finish the game with only 8 players. The next team on their schedule refused to play them after this game. Word got around that you better figuratively buckle up your chin straps when you play SRB, and word also got around to the Valley County School District office and the MHSAA about their rough and reckless play.

After multiple coaches and parents complained to the school district office and MHSAA, both entities looked into the matter. After as short investigation, a decision was made to put the SRB boys’ soccer program on probation for the remainder of the season and cancel their remaining games.

SRB principal Dr. Richard Belding said, “Coach Bryant is a legend in the area, and we appreciate his willingness to coach the program. But, I think he forgot what sport he was coaching. We just couldn’t continue the way things were going, so we felt we had no choice but to cancel the remainder of the season. I hate it for our players, but we felt we had no choice.”

Coach Bryant laughed, “My soccer coaching career didn’t last very long, but it was fun while it lasted. Everybody is so soft these days. I probably couldn’t make it coaching football either today. Well, I guess I’ll get back to deer hunting. That’s one thing I didn’t like about this soccer; it interfered with my hunting. I don’t have to worry about that now.”

by Offe Hisczrocher

The Valley County Baptist Association (VCBA) hosts a Christmas open house each year. They use it as a way to bring awareness to their various mission projects, and they also use it as a fundraiser for less fortunate families for Christmas. Attendance has been dropping the past few years, so they decided to spice things up this year to hopefully bring in more Valleyans. They decided to do a Little Debbie Christmas tree cake eating contest with the pastors of the county this Tuesday night.

They did a good job of promoting the event and especially the Christmas tree cake eating contest. They ended up having a huge crowd. There were 7 pastors that competed in the contest, and each pastor had a contingent from his church there cheering him on. So, it was a fun and exciting atmosphere similar to a ball game. The VCBA building was jam packed, and many people had to stand to watch the contest.

VCBA Missions Director Chuck Spurgeon said, “This idea was raised by one of our pastors, and I thought he was crazy. A few other pastors thought it was a good idea, so I agreed to give it a try. We didn’t charge an admission fee, but we encouraged donations. I’m glad we did it, because we raised more money than any of our previous open houses. It was a big hit. I guess we’ll make it an annual event.”

The rules for the contest were simple- eat as many Christmas tree cakes as possible in 15 minutes. They could also use as much liquid as needed. There was a timer in front of the pastors, and there was a timer behind the pastors for the crowd to see. As a precaution, medical personnel were on site in case of a choking, blood sugar, or other medical emergency.

Most people in attendance thought Bro. Jim Swaggart from Riverbend Baptist Church would win the contest. He’s a big burly guy that is a few pounds overweight. He got off to a hot start, and he had downed 10 cakes before you could blink. He ended up hitting a wall around the 5 minute mark though. Bro. Bill Graham with 2nd Baptist Church of Valley City started out strong as well, and he had a big cheering section there cheering him on. Bro. Graham is a diabetic, and he could be seen messing with his insulin pump during the contest.

No one would’ve picked Bro. Stevie Fertick with Ascent Church to win the contest. He’s in shape and looks like a personal trainer or model. He has a fade haircut and a perfectly groomed beard, and he wears nice stylish clothes with sneakers. Bro. Fertick had the best strategy. He had a steady deliberate pace from the jump, and it paid off. He ended up winning the contest by eating 49 Christmas tree cakes in 15 minutes. Bro. Ricky Warren finished 2nd with 42, and Bro. Kenny Copeland finished 3rd with 41.

Missions Director Spurgeon said, “This ended up being a great event for us. We ended up raising over $5,000 to help with local families for Christmas. That’s the most we’ve ever raised by far, so we’ll definitely be doing the Christmas tree eating contest going forward. We plan to livestream it next year. Hopefully, the pastors will be doing a detox over the next few days. God is good!”

by Heeza De Seaver

If you’ve been around kids lately, especially boys, then you’ve heard them say 6-7.  I hear it every day from my 9 year old son. 6-7 became a viral meme on TikTok, and it originated from a rap song by Skrilla.  Now, kids say it all the time for no reason at all, and it’s gotten to be a little ridiculous.  God forbid, you have to say the numbers 6 and 7 together, or if you just say 6.  If you’re around young boys, you know what’s coming next, 6-7.  This incessant 6-7ing contributed to an unfortunate incident this week in Valley City.

The Six Oaks subdivision in Valley City is a nice quiet neighborhood.  It was developed about 3 years ago, and it’s probably the nicest neighborhood in Valley City.  It’s full of young couples with young kids.  You’ll see kids playing outside and riding their bikes around the neighborhood like the good ole days.  Things got interesting Tuesday night in Six Oaks though, and the police were called to the neighborhood around 7:00 pm.  Multiple people called the police after hearing yelling and cursing at 67 Six Oaks Dr.  A large fire in the backyard of the residence was also reported to the police.

A police spokesperson said, “A couple of our officers arrived on the scene around 7:05 pm.  The homeowner, a male in his late 30s, was outside the home when the officers arrived.  The homeowner informed the officers about what happened, and he apologized for losing his cool.  The officers checked on all the residents in the home, and they briefly questioned the wife.  Everyone was fine.  The officers asked him to extinguish the fire in the backyard, and he agreed to do so.  No charges were filed.”

The homeowner and suspect was Will Wraige.  Wraige said, “Look, I just lost it.  I take my boys to school every morning, and they were 6-7ing the whole ride to school this morning.  I had a really bad day at work.  My wife and I got into an argument this afternoon too.  I picked my boys up from school, and they were still 6-7ing.  When I drove into our neighborhood, someone had spray painted a 7 next to Six on the neighborhood sign.  Next, I sat on the john when I got home, and we were out of toilet paper. Then, my wife burnt our supper.  The boys were still 6-7ing after supper, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Wraige began to gather his sons’ toys into a pile in the backyard.  He poured gas on the toys, and he set them on fire in his backyard.  His wife and kids were hysterical.  Will was yelling and cursing.  Neighbors heard the disturbance, and called the police.  Fortunately, no one was harmed during the ordeal.  

Wraige said, “I’m so sorry to my wife and kids, and I’m really embarrassed by my behavior.  It was on our neighborhood Facebook group, so everyone knows I went nuts.  It’s pretty embarrassing.  In addition to the police showing up, two fire trucks came too. Everyone in the neighborhood was outside to see what was going on. And, now I have to spend a lot more money on Christmas gifts this year because I lost my mind.  But, I scared my boys so bad that they haven’t said 6-7 around me since then.  I guess that’s one good thing that came from it.”

Hopefully, this 6-7 nonsense will stop soon.  I’m sure another annoying trend will take its place.  Maybe Trump should’ve banned Tiktok.  Maybe western civilization will survive.  We’ll see.

by Emma Embellischer

The Strong River Valley Technology Institute (SRVTI) had their first meeting last night, and they wasted no time getting to work. The SRVTI promised to improve the lives of Valleyans, and their first project will definitely do that. Also, it’s a very timely tool for the Christmas season.

Everyone loves Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes, but they can be very difficult to find. I’ve tried to buy them multiple times at Dollar General recently, but they’ve been sold out. Now, I’ll be able to find them anywhere in Mississippi. The SRVTI created a website to track inventory of Little Debbie Christmas tree cake boxes at stores across the state.

LITTLE DEBBIE CHRISTMAS TREE CAKE TRACKER SITE

Do you want to know if Kroger or Dollar General have any before you leave the house? Now, you can check on the website before leaving your house and wasting your time and gas.

A SRVTI spokesperson said, “A SRVTI member brought some Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes to our meeting last night. Another member complained that he could never find any at his local grocery store. So, we had a problem to solve right off the bat. We were done in less than an hour with this site. We hope it helps Valleyans find one of their favorite Christmas treats.”

by Emma Embellischer

The Strong River Valley is much different than Silicon Valley in California. Most people have never heard of the Strong River Valley, but I’ll take our catfish and sweet tea over Silicon Valley’s lattes and avocado toast any day of the week. We’re definitely not on the cutting edge of technology like they are in Silicon Valley. But, things are changing in The Valley and in Mississippi. Our governor and our legislature are determined to make Mississippi a tech hub. We’ve had multiple announcements lately about new data centers coming to our great state, and there are other exciting tech related things happening in the state as well.

The SRVO doesn’t want to sit idly by while all this tech innovation is happening in our state and region. So, we’ve created a tech incubator called the Strong River Valley Technology Institute (SRVTI) to encourage Valleyans to participate in the current AI tech revolution. The SRVTI will be a collaboration of software engineers, developers, coders, and more, and they’ll meet every Tuesday night in a vacant office at the SRVO’s headquarters.

The SRVTI’s goal is to create technology that improves the quality of the life of Valleyans. The SRVTI’s motto is simple: Collaborate, Innovate, and Create. Valley tech entrepreneur, Bill Ballmer, has been chosen to be the Director of the SRVTI, and the SRVTI’s initial meeting is tonight.

Ballmer said, “I’m so excited about the SRVTI. I’ve got 4 engineers and developers coming to the meeting tonight, and they’re ready to get after it. This is going to be something to benefit everyone in The Valley, and we plan to make some great stuff to help y’all. Keep an eye out for us! We’re gonna be creating some sweet stuff.”

The SRVTI plans to be coming out with at least one app or website by year end. They will be using AI, and they plan to do workshops to teach Valleyans how to use AI as well. Stay tuned! Ballmer and his guys have promised to do great things.